


Closet Space

by houdini74



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Irritated to Idiots, M/M, No Angst, Seriously two idiot boys who can't get it together, Trapped In A Closet, but more like Idiots to Idiots Who Kiss, failed attempts at flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houdini74/pseuds/houdini74
Summary: What if David took Patrick’s teasing seriously when they first met? And what if, six months later, he still thinks Patrick hates him? What then?
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 61
Kudos: 261





	Closet Space

**Author's Note:**

> This scenario just popped into my head so here we are.

Looking back over his shoulder, David eases open the door to the Town Hall supply closet and slips inside. The tiny room is pitch black and smells of lemon cleaner and dirty mop water, but it’s better than waiting for Roland to make good on his threat to share the details of his and Jocelyn’s latest role play. Cautiously and all too aware of unwanted bleach or other chemicals that might be lurking in the vicinity of his best Neil Barrett sweater, he slides his hand along the industrial shelving, searching in the dark for a safe spot to lean against until the danger is past. His hand brushes against a couple of plastic bottles and what he hopes is last year’s Christmas wreath before running smack into the warm shoulder of another person.

“Fuck!” 

Someone shrieks. It might be him. It’s probably him. There’s a sudden intake of breath as the other person, assuming it is a person and not an apparition or a serial killer, fumbles around until the light from a cell phone illuminates the small space. 

“David?”

“Patrick? What are you doing here?” Of course it’s Patrick. The other man has been a thorn in his side since the day they’d met at Ray’s six months ago. David would rather be trapped in this closet with literally anyone else, even Roland. Okay, maybe not Roland. But anyone other than Roland. He definitely doesn’t want to be stuck in here with Patrick, with his smirking smiles and his exposed forearms and his incorrect jeans that stretch tight and inviting across his all too perfect ass. Not that David has noticed. Or wants to notice. Or whatever.

“What are _you _doing here?” There’s a lengthy pause. Just one time, he’d like Patrick to give him a straight answer. Patrick grins at him cheekily. He’s just as cute in the ghostly light of his cell phone as he is in daylight. Just as cute and just as annoying.__

__“I asked you first.” David examines the shelf as closely as he can in the dim light before determining it’s safe and leaning against it with his arms crossed. If it provides an opportunity to evade Patrick’s eyes, so much the better. Patrick’s eyes are very loud, David does his best to avoid them whenever he can._ _

__“I, um, I don’t suppose you’d believe me if I said I got lost?” A pink flush climbs up Patrick’s cheeks, visible even in the soft glow._ _

__“I really wouldn’t.”_ _

__“Fine. Mmpfhble.” Patrick’s voice faces away and he stares into the inky blackness at their feet. Feet that are mere inches apart in the small space. This close together, the earthy undertones of Patrick’s cologne are all too evident. David pushes away his urge to chase the scent, to nuzzle into Patrick’s neck._ _

__“What did you say?”_ _

__Patrick looks up defiantly. “I’m hiding from Ronnie. I lost a bet. But it’s not fair! How was I supposed to know that Twyla is a junior curling champion?” A distinct pout creeps across Patrick’s face. David longs to tug Patrick’s protruding lower lip between his teeth. David could make him gasp. He could make him moan. With his tongue and his teeth and his hands, David could make him fall apart. He presses back against the shelving, hoping the sharp span of steel across his shoulders will slow his heartbeat. It’s moderately successful. He hugs his arms more tightly across his body as Patrick looks at him curiously. “Why are you here?”_ _

__“Roland wants me to help him choose an outfit so Jocelyn can role play Meryl Streep in Silkwood.” Just saying the words out loud makes him gag._ _

__“Um. Isn’t that the movie about unsafe working conditions at a nuclear power plant?”_ _

__“That’s right. Apparently they’re working through her entire repertoire.” Patrick starts to laugh, his entire body shaking as he tries to contain himself. “Shhh. Someone will find us if you can’t keep quiet.” Of course Patrick is going to blow this for him. He should have left as soon as he’d discovered he wasn’t alone in the closet. Oh god. He giggles, hiccuping laughter seeping out between his pressed lips. Here he is laughing with his arch-nemesis over a combination of Roland and Jocelyn’s sex games and cliched queer jokes._ _

__Patrick’s nearly bent over now. Tiny wheezes of laughter whisper out of his lips and he reaches out a hand to steady himself, grasping David’s bicep with one firm hand._ _

__It burns._ _

__Even through David’s neoprene Neil Barrett sweater, it burns like Patrick has branded him. There’s nowhere to go, no choice but to lose himself in the feel of Patrick’s hand on his body. Their laughter dies away and it’s just the two of them, much too close together in the small space, Patrick’s body nearly pressed against his. Patrick opens his mouth to speak and David just can’t anymore. He can’t hear another pointed word, another smart ass remark, another teasing comment. He lunges forward, pressing his mouth to Patrick’s and slamming him against the opposite wall. The shelf rattles ominously at the impact and Patrick surges up, kissing him frantically, his mouth hot and fierce against David’s._ _

__Patrick’s hands scrabble at his waist and he pulls David into him, thrusting their hips together. There are two layers of denim between them, but with Patrick pressed hard and eager against him, it might as well be nothing. David grinds into him, bracing one hand against the wall and tangling the other in Patrick’s messy curls, angling his head and holding it just where he wants it before meeting Patrick with lips and tongue and teeth. It’s messy, just the right side of violent and it’s exactly what he wants. He wants to wipe the smirk from Patrick’s face; he wants to see what’s under those bland button-down shirts; he wants to mess Patrick up so he remembers this moment. He works his thigh between Patrick’s legs. The groan Patrick makes in response is loud and gratifying._ _

__Neglected, the light from Patrick’s phone dies, leaving them in complete darkness. With the blackness comes a feeling of intimacy so complete it’s unbearable. David stills, his body pressing Patrick against the wall, Patrick is almost unnaturally compliant beneath him, their harsh panting loud in the confined space._ _

__“Um…” Patrick whispers the word but his voice echoes off the metal shelving. “I need to say something.”_ _

__Of course Patrick is going to make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Why can’t he just let David get him off and then they’ll have even more reason to avoid each other in the future? “Don’t worry. I am fully prepared to forget this ever happened.” David eases his hand from Patrick’s hair, his curls weave around David’s fingers as though they’re reluctant to set him free. He tries to step back, but there’s nowhere to go. In the hallway, he hears Roland calling to Ronnie, asking if she’s seen him._ _

__“That’s not what I was going to say.” Patrick’s voice is deceptively mild but there’s a line of tension in the way he’s holding himself. “Quite the opposite, really.”_ _

__“What does that mean?” David pushes backwards, pressing himself against the cold steel shelf. “You’re going to hold this against me forever?”_ _

__“David.” Patrick fumbles with his phone, lighting the space again. His hands grasp David’s biceps, forcing his attention. “I’m saying that this is something I’ve wanted since the moment we met, and I’m really sorry we couldn’t make it happen before now.”_ _

__“No. No, no, no, no.” If there was room in the closet, David would be pacing. As it is, he floats a hand through the air between them, narrowly missing Patrick’s nose._ _

__“Just the one ‘no’ will be fine.” A chill falls over Patrick’s features like the slamming of a door._ _

__It doesn’t matter. David is wound up now. Six months of teasing and smirking and having to defend himself from this insufferable person in front of him burst through the back of his throat. “You can’t possibly be serious. You...you...you hate me.” The last words come out much less confidently than he’d prefer, but he pushes onwards. “What do you mean you wanted to make this happen?”_ _

__The warmth returns to Patrick’s eyes. They’re so loud. David hates how loud they are, how loud they’ve been from the very beginning. “David. I don’t hate you.”_ _

__“Could have fooled me.” David’s eyes land on the jugs of industrial cleaning products over Patrick’s shoulder. Even contemplating disgusting chemicals is preferable to dealing with the shouting from Patrick’s eyes._ _

__“I’ve been flirting with you for months. I just assumed _you_ hated me.”_ _

__“What? No, you definitely started this.” The distraction of the cleaning products isn’t strong enough, and his eyes snap back to Patrick’s face. “You made fun of me for not knowing anything about cricket.”_ _

__“Yep. Flirting.”_ _

__“And you teased me the day I wore that shower cap.”_ _

__“That was very funny. But there again, flirting.”_ _

__“And when you said I needed a lot of help with my business?”_ _

__Patrick winces, his hands are firm on David’s shoulders. “That didn’t land the way I’d hoped. But all the same…”_ _

__“Flirting.” Against his will, a smile flickers at the corner of his mouth, David tucks it into his cheek. If Patrick sees it, he’ll be lost for sure._ _

__“Um. What do you want to do now?” David can’t begin to set about how to untangle what is, apparently, a very unnecessary mess between them._ _

__“This.” Patrick’s hand catches at the back of David’s neck and he tugs David towards him, kissing him so gently that David has no choice but to respond, his heart pounding, his previous adrenaline replaced by something softer, more hopeful. Something terrifying. After a long moment, Patrick pulls away, David sighs and chases his lips but Patrick evades him. “Just so we’re completely clear, that was me kissing you and I’d like to do more of it in the future.”_ _

__“Okay. I see what you’re doing.” At some point, Patrick’s hands have slipped under the edge of David’s sweater, his thumbs rubbing distracting circles onto David’s bare skin._ _

__“Flirting?”_ _

__“Would we call that flirting? Or would we call it being pesky and annoying?”_ _

__Patrick tips his head back and laughs, his shoulders vibrate beneath David’s hands. “It’s one and the same, David. One and the same.”_ _


End file.
